I feel so out of touch, more and more.

A friend talks to me about how he's bought a Switch, and adamantly tells me how he's ready to sink a hundred hours into Zelda. I have little to say. Yep, the Switch seems well made. Yeah, the game looks good, I saw my friend play it and it looks as if a lot of effort's gone into it. I have no desire to play it, and especially no desire to play it for hundreds of hours! Even the idea of spending ten on a game feels awful. And that's how my Steam account clocks last online over 1000 days ago and why my 3DS collects dust.

I do hang out in many communities. Always have. But recently, when people in some chat talk about some current video game, it's felt surreal. I can't seem to connect. I feel fundamentally left out. It's a current game. "Who's going to play with me?". Not me. I don't know the game, I don't have it, I probably never will.

And then... I keep being reminded how speedrunning still leaves a distaste in me. I did use to be somewhat involved in the Pokémon speedrunning scene. I've never been speedrunning myself, but I enjoyed the concept, watched streams, raced and invented glitches. But nowadays... I honestly feel really bad for the people who play one game over and over every day. And it's not even my business! I'm not trying to insult anybody here, I would never say it to anybody's face. I do want people doing what they love. But I'm repulsed, and I can't help that.

If I look back, I know this has been a slow process in the course of several years. But sitting down like this to realize just where I stand right now makes me see the gap, and it feels bizarre. I don't know how to bridge that gap and I don't desire going there anyway. So I guess I just need to venture further out.